What is love? It is a question that is asked often and has many different answers. The answer that I give is “enlightened fulfilment.” It is a spiritual connection between two people which is why we can still feel the love if they are in a different room, country or have left our world to rest in peace.
Love makes us smile and it makes us cry. A world without love would be like having no sun to bring us light and warmth. Everyone knows that the sun is there even when it is behind a cloud or shining somewhere else. Love is the same. It never leaves us but so many children grow up having to find it. Love is the greatest and most important subject that a child can be taught. It is a cliché but if they love themselves then their life will be a lot less complicated. If you tell a child that he or she is worthless or stupid then they will believe it. Love starts with raising self-esteem and giving hugs.
Jordan is a good example. Not the country but the model Katie Price. She has spent years searching for love, happiness and contentment. Thousands make the same mistake of thinking that love is all about being loved and those three little words. Breast implants might get you noticed but they won’t change who you are or make you love yourself any more. If a person has low self-worth then they tend to depend on external factors rather than internal. One of my favourite lines is from a song by James – “You will not find love if you think you’re not good enough.”
I suppose the “bigger breasts” equivalent for men would be penis size and either surgical enhancement or a belief in enlargement creams. If the cream actually worked, there would be a lot of guys wondering around with giant hands. Other external factors such as drugs, impulsive shopping or half a million Twitter followers are a poor substitute for internal love.
I’m not sure why a lot of relationships fall apart and family feuds never get resolved but I do know that bitterness and resentment is a tiresome emotion. I was watching the Jeremy Kyle show at the Gym last week. This show never fails to amaze me and it always makes me feel good about my own life. I was peddling on the exercise bike listening to a youth defend peddling drugs. I was running on the tread mill listening to a girl’s story about running away. I was lifting weights as I witnessed the end of a relationship owing to a wife putting on too much weight. These are real people, sharing their unresolved problems in front of a camera and an audience. If you can’t communicate with your parents or your children because of anger, disappointment or upset then Jeremy isn’t going to perform a miracle but I guess there is hope for a happy future. Life begins with a family of at least two people and with loves help, new families are created as time passes. Without love it might be a different story.
I will never forget a true story of a man named John from a friend’s neighbourhood and a stark reminder about the importance of love in our lives.
John was retired and lived alone in his 3 bedroom detached house. His only contact with the outside world was a weekly visit to the post office and a supermarket. Occasionally there would be brief discussions with angry neighbours as they knocked on his door to complain about the loud music. John was partially deaf and needed to crank up the volume to enjoy the only sound in his house. In July last year all contact ceased but life continued outside of his front door. The music could no longer be heard and the only visitor to enter the front gate was the postman.
It was the first day of September when Gladys stopped abruptly in front of John’s house. She had noticed the full letterbox before but had passed on by. Gladys’s mind and heart was racing. There had been no loud music for weeks. Gladys had not passed John on the street or seen him in the post office either during the whole of summer. She opened the front gate and reluctantly knocked on John’s blue front door. After knocking loudly and ringing the bell three times, Gladys knelt down on the doorstep and proceeded to remove the mail that was jammed into the letterbox so she could shout his name through it. A buzzing sound filled her ears as she looked through the opening in the door. Gladys brought her hand to her mouth in shock and to protect herself from the Bluebottle flies that were using the letterbox to fly into the light on her side of the door.
John had been dead for nearly two months and Gladys was the first person to spare him a thought. I find it very sad and disturbing that someone can live a lifetime, yet die lonely.
I was a teenager when I first heard Bette Midler sing a song called “Hello in there” and I have smiled at the elderly ever since. These are my favourite verses…
You know that old trees just grow stronger,
and old rivers grow wilder every day,
but old people, they just grow lonesome
waiting for someone to say,
“Hello in there. Hello”
So if you’re walking down the street sometime
and you should spot some hollow ancient eyes,
don’t you pass them by and stare
as if you didn’t care.
Say, “Hello in there. Hello.”
I know the importance of love in my life. I took it for granted when Sarah was alive but death changes everything. I had to restore my faith in love and find it again. Cherish your family and the people you love and smile at the grumpy old sods passing you by. You might make them feel less lonely by sharing your warmth and kindness. One smile might make their winter feel like summer.